When I go to Subway and get a half-foot long sandwich, there are several options to choose from. I get the usual: turkey instead of ham and condiments like mustard (don’t forget pickles!) – I have the ability to “make my own sandwich” quickly and easily. However, the sandwich of my life is made more indirectly and through much time and many experiences. It is obviously unique, and it is my personal sandwich. I may have lived only 18 years, but today I would like to share the things the go into my sandwich (instead of turkey and cheese) that make me who I am.
Activeness. When I was young, I used to be the shiest, quietest kid in my class. Maybe it was because when I started school, I was in a new country (I moved from Korea to American when I was three) and I couldn’t communicate with others and express my ideas (the people weren’t exactly friendly either – maybe that’s why I feel a soft side for new foreigners) – this created uncertainty within myself. However, after I attended two and a half years of a wonderful high school in Korea (I moved back for four years) and actively participating in high school activities and competitions, I found confidence within myself. I started being more open towards people and actively participating in my community. I may not be the most confident and outgoing person now, but I have grown more open.
Positivism. When I moved back to Korea at the age of 15 after successfully adapting to American life, I felt a huge culture-shock similar to the one I felt when I came to the US. I guess I kind of felt fear from the trauma of early years (the first years in the US weren’t that nice) and since I’m great at ruminating, I felt a side of depression. I was worried people would ignore me, label me as the “foreigner,” refuse to help me, and my grades would suffer (yes, I was kind of a nerd back then). However, after living through those four years, I realized that I survived. This has helped me through my life – I learned that whatever bad seems to be around the corner, good will also come. Even when I came back to the US, it rained terribly, but afterwards, a rainbow formed in the sky. I decided that that would be motto: always wait for the rainbow during the storm and not be depressed by it.
Thoughtfulness. I think A LOT. It’s my innate characteristic (it was inside the sandwich when I was born, I believe). Sometimes it’s good: I ponder about my situations and problems and learn from them or think creatively. Sometimes it’s bad: I ruminate on parts of my horrible past and feel horrible. But it’s a part of me, so I should accept it. I like to think philosophically (I wish my high school has Philosophy as a class, although I heard that it is hard and confusing) and frequently I find myself wondering about the mysteries of life (yes, I am the kind of nerd that wonders about unusual, profound questions like why people live). Why do people live? To search for the very reason?